HABITS

 

     If you have a yen or an urge for something sweet, you might go to the refrigerator and takeout a nice chocolate ice cream sandwich and then go back to the TV and finish watching the show. But, that yen was probably a one-shot deal. You probably won’t do that often.  Maybe, it happens occasionally, maybe, once or twice over a year. That behavior is not usually considered habitual. So, what is a habit?

    Its origin is from the English, French and Latin “habitus” condition, character, from habereh i.e. to have, or hold. Its first known use was in the 13^th century.  It has been referred to as characteristic of rank, as a nun’s or monk’s apparel, or even as the costume worn for horseback riding. However, it usually is referred to as an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. The vivid evidence of a habit is its frequently noted repetitive behavior which sometimes is innocent and perhaps beneficial. There are conditions where they may become irrational, extreme or neurotic and as such, become detrimental to one’s well-being.

    The formation of a habit can be analyzed in three parts which are a cue, the actual behavior and the reward.  For example, the cue could be seeing the toothbrush. The brushing is the actual behavior and the reward is the good feeling of cleanliness. It is a simple illustration that, in itself, is innocent and beneficial. If this behavior becomes compulsive and is carried out an excessive number of times each day, then it can be considered possibly a nervous condition. How to control such a condition requires one to try and determine what motivates such behavior.  Simply stopping the frequency of such behavior will not resolve the situation.  It takes a conscious effort to examine the underlying motivation for such behavior.  That isn’t always easy because it takes a willingness to understand and deal with what may be some underlying anxiety a person may have that is not directly related to the need for keeping one’s teeth clean. What the answer may be is not always that easy to identify.

    There are many habits one develops from a young age and some can be minimized or eliminated over time when there is a conscious effort to address their cause. It is a perennial challenge but one can reach a solution.  What becomes really critical is being able to understand and distinguish between a habit and addiction. Yes, will power can be a strong means for addressing those behaviors but if they become addictive then it is usually beyond the use of will power.  In such situations the need for psychotherapy and or medication is necessary. There are really two major challenges to address in such a situation.  One is the willingness for one to seek help and the other is to monitor the process of help.  No matter how old or young we are each one of us is endowed with the attribute of choice.  So, it’s not really fair to blame our culture, the times, or society for preventing or resolving our bad habits or addictions. Each of us can be our own worst problem or find  success.     

CHANGE

    It is interesting to me that as life goes along nothing really remains constant. So, no matter what happens we are not in a position to keep or have anything to be perfectly still.  I am reminded of the famous saying, “Time and tide wait for no man”. I have heard it for years and now that I’m older my curiosity is perked as to its origin. It is clear the phrase is ancient and pre-dates modern English. My research indicates that its earliest known record is about 1225.  The notion “tide” being beyond man’s control reveals images of the ancient Danish King Canute.  He demonstrated to his courtiers the limits of a king’s power by failing to make the sea obey his command before he conquered England.  When this phrase was coined it came to mean a season, or a time, or a while. The word is still with us in that sense in “good tidings”, which refers to a good event or occasion.  I guess we can say that good and bad times come and go.  It’s up to us not to be caught up and stuck with the unhappy events.  Given the holiday season with us lets be thankful for our blessings and enjoy our friendships.   

 PERSONALITY

    There may have been occasions where we communicated with someone and then said to yourself that the other person has no personality. You might have said to yourself, “He or she is a piece of work and a dull person with whom to try and have a conversation.”  First of all, you might like to know that to define personality has been a perennial puzzle for centuries.

    There is no generally agreed definition of personality.  There have been many theories in the field of psychology that have offered a variety of explanations to understand it.  The early Greek philosophers made attempts all the way from Plato and Aristotle and continuing with eminent theories of Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, Gordon Allport, Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers and Raymond Cattell. Their theories for personality included biological, cognitive, learning, trait, as well as humanistic and psychodynamic approaches.  Nevertheless, their efforts were noble but there is still no concise definition of personality.  However, one thing that seems to prevail is that one’s personality develops from the influence of both one’s heredity and environment.  Also, that it becomes stable and enduring.

     Many professionals in the field of Personality Psychology have developed tests to identify or measure attributes of personality.  Much of the data acquired has been derived by recruiting samples of college students or others who responded to tests such as the Minnesota Multiphasic Inventory (MMPI), Rorschach Ink Blot Test, Cattell’s 16 Personality Factor Test, or the Neurotic Personality Questionnaire. However, researchers at Northwestern University have recently, with the advent of the technology age, acquired very large samples on line that has allowed them to derive four personality types:  average, reserved, self-centered or role model.  Although their data is massive compared to the famous tests listed above, their research doesn’t define personality.  But, it does provide the potential for hiring managers and mental healthcare personnel.   

    Furthermore, the question arises as to whether personality can be modified or changed. There is some evidence to indicate that there are essentially three ways personality can change. They are by experiencing trauma, peak experiences, or just learning.  Trauma occurs as in such cases of tragedy (loss of a loved one, wounds of war).  A peak experience happens when (one marries, graduation from college).  Learning is, for example, when one accomplishes success from playing a musical instrument that opens one to a new career.

    It appears that learning is the most reasonable and rewarding way personality can change.  However, there are significant factors that enter into this type of change. First of all, one has to be motivated to want to learn.  Secondly, one must have the biological tools to utilize. That latter observation leads me to say that is why it’s quite a challenge and most difficult for those of us in our senior or twilight years to change much of our personality.  An example of what I mean is to recognize that it’s probably true that any one of us, 55 or older, could learn to play the piano, even highly motivated but, we wouldn’t accomplish playing as soon and maybe not as well well as a youngster in adolescence or younger. So, what does all I wrote lead me to conclude? Yes, we can change our personality but it takes motivation and patience to succeed in such an effort.

 

OUR SUBCULTURES

     It has been said that America is a melting pot. That is to suggest our country is made up of people who have migrated here from all over the world and, so to speak, become Americanized or melted into a single identity.  I prefer to say that America is more like a casserole.  In other words, a dish garnished with a flavoring sauce of respect, honesty, fairness, freedom, justice, loyalty, kindness, and openness to each other.  Each American has the right to pursue one’s own destiny and yet retain some the characteristics of a subculture from which one emigrated or emerged.  Having said that, it seems we are a unique society that embodies the morals and values of the U.S. Constitution our founding fathers developed to cherish democracy.   

    With the above ideas in mind, I decided to look at the subcultural panorama of our country from the 20^th to the 21^st century.  In the early part of the 20^th century subcultures were mostly informal groupings of like-minded people.  In the 1920s and 1930s America faced the Great Depression that caused widespread unemployment and poverty which found its expression in urban youth gangs. The Dust bowl disaster forced large numbers of rural Americans from Oklahoma (the “Oakies”) to move their families west. The 1940s brought our country into World War II. The subculture was still jazz and swing and the zoot suit craze diminished. The process of rationing and black marketing was taking place.  Post-war America saw the popularity of the radio bringing a wider subculture of rural jazz and blues as well as big bands.  Now, that was the first burst of mass media creating the spread of large subcultures.

    The 1950s brought on the American Beat scene that eventually emerged in the 1960s to the subcultures including radicals, rockers, bikers and hippies.  By the1970s the subcultural interest in computers brought on the derogatory word “geek” which grew as a term with pride.  Some followers of the punk- rock movement in the 1980s eventually took on the genre in American urban environments referred to as a street subculture combining athletic break dancing, developing as Hip hop and rap.

     I look at the primary generations of today, namely: Gen Z, I Gen, or Centennials:  born 1966 and later: Millennials or Gen Y:   Born 1977 to 1995: Generation X:  1965 to 1976; Baby Boomers: Born 1946 to 1964; Traditionalists or Silent Generation: 1945 and before.

    Then, I look at what I have written in this article and I wonder what will the youth of today consider important to the well being of our American culture. I ask myself, in what direction are they going? I have confidence in them knowing that even with adolescent vicissitudes they have the intelligence and integrity to make great contributions to our country.  I would like to believe that those of our Silent Generation will leave them a positive legacy.

 

FOR THE LOVE OF A DOG

     I do remember when, in my childhood, we did have a dog as our family pet.  But, since then until now I don’t have one and I don’t intend on having a pet.  Yet, my experience a couple of weeks ago has increased my respect for dog owners tremendously.  Our granddaughter has been visiting us and we were invited to join her when she decided to visit an animal rescue center and consider applying as a part time volunteer.  So, we went with her to the “Big Dog Ranch Rescue” (BDRR) at14444 Okeechobee Blvd. Loxahatchee, FL.  33473.  I am quite aware that there are many rescue centers for dogs and other animals.  There are many places for saving elephants.  Even on television there is a program called “Pit Bulls and Parolees” that provides adoption service.  But, my first and only visit to the BDRR was an education I will never forget.

     My understanding is that the mission of the BDRR is to rescue, rehabilitate and find a home for over 5,000 dogs a year.  It is recognized as the largest dog rescue in the country and with a large 33-acre cage free campus designed to save the lives and be the happiest place for dogs while they make the transition from being homeless to a new home.  It is a large nonprofit organization supported by donations, paid personnel and volunteers who assist part-time. I sincerely appreciate the BDRR effort to provide a facility that need not be a sad place for dogs.  Over the past 13 years, through April, 2018 over 25,000 dogs have been saved. It is a most impressive facility.  

    There are at least three or four buildings, each providing private compartments (called Runs) for each dog.   In some cases, dogs which had bonded with another when brought to the rescue center are sheltered together.  Each Run door has a large window which could be lifted so that someone could reach to pat a dog.   Whether the window is opened or not, each dog reached up to look out as you approached and looked at you as if to say, “Please let me out.”   As I watched each dog, I couldn’t help but compare the scene to a prison cell.  There was a back door to each Run that opened into a playground area like a park that allows dogs to run around, get exercise and, I guess, socialize with other dogs who also had released time.  Care, food, grooming and medical service is provided.  There is a sign on each door giving its name and breed. With all the volunteers and professional staff, no dog is neglected.   As a matter of fact, I noticed one dog was tethered on a leash and lying on a soft cushion in the hallway.  I asked one of the volunteers why it wasn’t in a Run.  I was told that its owner had recently passed away and the dog needed some time to adapt to the transition of being in the rescue center before being assigned to a Run.

     Nevertheless, with all the support, care, compassion and understanding given these dogs, they look at you as if to say,” Please take me home.”  My low-level sensitivities really touched me emotionally. The whole environment appeared to be similar to a prison.  My respect and honor go for the love of a dog.

 

HAVING AN OPINION

    First of all, what is an opinion? It is a judgment, viewpoint, or statement that is not conclusive. It is often compared to a fact which is verifiable. When we express an opinion in writing or orally, we may sometimes expect a response.   I think we can understand that we are all entitled to offer an opinion. But, in some sense, there is usually a response anticipated.  For example, if someone might state that generally, vegetables are healthy foods to eat and present a whole set of facts from experts to substantiate such an opinion, then it is highly unlikely there would be much opposition to that opinion. 

     Unfortunately, there are occasions or situations in which opinions are rendered which are not substantiated by facts.  They may be motivated by one’s personal emotions regarding some bias they may have toward another individual’s attire.  In such a case, what one may be experiencing is an unfair judgment. It could be one feeling envy, jealousy or resentment in not having the personal comfort one assumes the other is experiencing.  Such an interpretation is merely speculation.  But, an important inference one can make is that all the unemotional facts regarding the opinion were not known or considered.

     It is very easy to offer opinions because they often come off the top of our heads without taking time to think before we speak and taking time to reflect upon our own personal self-concept. We need to recognize facts relating to the situation.  Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy building negative thoughts and opinions that are fundamentally, unfair to one’s self as well as others.
    When we refer to collective or professional opinions, they are usually defined as meeting a higher standard because they are substantiated by a larger amount of evidence but may be still subject to factual verification.  In the final analysis, being vigilant in evaluating opinions is very valuable and sensible. 

 

 

 

 

A SENTENCE FOR ALL

 

    We all have sentences to write but, we don’t know how, where, when or in what way

they will end.  Nevertheless, we can write our story.  We have the ability to make plans and prepare a text and layout groundwork that can be interesting and exciting.  So, we begin our journey and see that some of what we want to happen works out well but, there are occasions where a trip we take or a career we start falters because of circumstances we can’t control.  An accident can occur or illness hampers you.  Yet, we find we are able to rewrite a chapter and make things turn out better.  Our story has many many sentences that bring happier endings.   
   Sometimes, we sit back from the desk and rest to collect new thoughts to prepare for a new adventure but, someone interrupts your writing and offers you different ideas to write.  It seems that these new thoughts for a moment are fascinating. Yet, it seems as if what is introduced to you makes you feel uncomfortable or even intimidating.
  After all,you realize these new thoughts are not part of the theme you are developing.  What is important to you is that the sentences you write are a true meaning to bring you happiness.  It isn’t always easy to write sentences that please others.  But, so what? These sentences are yours and only yours.
   As you get older you find new inspirations to write sentences that allow you to share your feelings with others.  So, your sentences have more eloquent words and your friends find those you express are effective.  You find that your sentences can offer you and others peace of mind.  The sentences become valuable to comfort you as well as others.
    What you read each day can make you sad when you read sentences that tell of horrific incidents.  Those sentences are devastating and frightening.  You need to continue writing sentences that recapture the value of life and restore more love and human understanding of the value of life.  Children especially need to read sentences that give them courage to know that their stories can have happier endings.  Write sentences that provide parents with the support to know you care about them and that their sentences can have new chapters.