PATIENCE FOR PATIENTS

 

 

It’s not always easy to find comfort when you are ill, whether you are at home, in the doctor’s office or in the hospital.  First of all, it takes the ability to cope with your condition and be aware of what you are feeling.  As long as you are fully conscious, you are the only one capable to communicate what is wrong.  A caring person, be it your loved one, physician, dentist, nurse, therapist, or even a friend can’t do much for you unless you are alert and willing to share what’s bothering you.  Regardless of the professional skill a caring person has, each one has to have personality attributes such as patience, ability to listen, build trust, show empathy and encouragement.  Those qualities are critical for helping a person.

 Medical care is facing challenging conditions today more than years ago.  In some areas, hospitals are understaffed which makes it difficult to provide adequate nursing care.  Doctors, who are in public or private practice, have heavy caseloads.  There have been tremendous advances in medical science; however, accountability for medical services has become computerized.  It appears that more and more doctors are finding less time to talk with their patients.  When the patient goes for an office visit, the doctor does give a thorough examination but less time to relate with the patient because the doctor has to spend time typing into the computer medical data on the patient in compliance for insurance coverage.  At the time of a patient’s visit, the patient often sits there waiting for him to complete inputting data into the computer.  The good old days of the patient relationship with the doctor is much shorter.  Oh yes, often the doctor’s bedside manner still exists but, the time is brief.  Also, the doctor has other patients waiting to be seen. So, patience for the patient is often kind but limited.  There are a few doctors who manage to massage the environment by using a (PA) Physician’s Assistant.  But, doing so can disappoint the patient because the (PA) is not the equivalent of a doctor.  But the (PA) serves a legitimate role to alleviate the load of the physician in attending to a patient as an assistant to the doctor. This assistance may be unsettling for a patient.

Yes, times have changed.  As a matter of fact, a doctor’s home visit is rare and in the past.  Although, there are doctors who will take the time to make a phone call to the patient as a follow up to find out how one is recuperating.

Patience is a virtue.            

 

 

    

 

 

EATING TOOLS

 

 

The waiter is called to our table to remind him that there are two setups missing.  We cannot enjoy dinner without utensils for eating.  Yes, how easy it is for us to use a fork, knife or spoon.   It’s hard to believe that there was a time when no such cutlery was available.

 During the Stone Age of humankind, sharp stones were formed to cut meat and fruit.  Simple shapes of spoons were made from hollowed out pieces of wood or sea shells that were connected to sticks.  Animal horns were used to consume liquids. The Iron Age introduced the use of metalwork which allowed small “sharped tipped” knives to become commonplace for eating.  The rise of the fork came with the arrival of the 16th Century Italian Renaissance.  Forks were used by nobility.  They were used primarily with exotic foods which brought finger stains that were harder to clean.  The use of the fork spread across Europe by the early 17th Century.  However, the American colonies did not implement its use until the early 19th Century when multi-tinned forks created in Germany and England came to the United States.

 Nevertheless, today there is a great concern about the excessive use of disposal cutlery in the form of plastic utensils.   In 2010, a former researcher for The International Corps Research Institute for the Semi-Arid Tropics (ICRISAT) Narayana Peesapaty founded Bakeys, (sometimes known as Bakey’s) an Indian edible cutlery manufacturing startup company in Hyderabad, Telangana.  His product is an eco-friendly alternative to disposable utensils prepared with plastic, wood and bamboo chopsticks.  His goal is to produce products which will contribute to waste reduction.  His primary concern is that there are an estimated 120 billion plastic utensils thrown in the garbage by Indian diners annually. 

 Bakeys uses a variety of different flours to bake one-time edible spoons, forks and chopsticks which can be consumed after their use.  The products are vegetarian manufactured using all natural ingredients, primarily sorghum as well as wheat, rice, and millet.  The spoons have a shelf-life of 18 months and are made so that they will naturally decompose between three and seven days if not consumed.  The spoons are made with several flavors, such as cumin, mint-ginger, carrot-beetroot and sugar.  As of April 2016, the company is only marketing edible spoons, but plans to expand its operation to begin distribution of forks and chopsticks. 

 Peesapety’s effort to campaign funding has been slow but increasing and he looks forward to his product reaching Europe and the United States. His project is another advance toward awakening an eco-friendlier environment.  Yes, it is true that metal utensils can be washed and reused.  But, think about the thousands of fast food places that distribute the plastic utensils.

 

 

 

PAST IS PRESENT

 

It has been said often that we need to look to the future and not linger on the past knowledge of our life.  But, then it depends upon what we consider as lasting.   Considering the past, opens up much information that is continually available to us in printed matter such as books, newspapers, periodicals or oral conversations.  All the information that has accumulated through the centuries even before written history has given us insight about life.  Archaeologists and historians have provided us with knowledge of past civilizations such as the Persian, Greek and Roman empires.  They have long gone and passed; but, we have learned from their past existence.

 Then again, there is a different kind of past that we often resort to that is more personal and found through reminiscence or nostalgia.  At first, one might think they are alike because they take us into the past.  Although they allow us to experience past feelings and thoughts they are slightly different from one another.   Reminiscing allows us to remember or recall certain instances.  For example, when having dinner in a restaurant and looking at the couple at the next table, we are reminded or we trigger a reminiscence of our trip to the islands just by seeing blouses each is wearing that shows a Polynesian pattern.  We find ourselves looking back to the beautiful sunsets we saw in Hawaii.  

Nostalgia is similar to reminiscing but has a slightly different meaning. Nostalgia has usually been associated with a longing for a past setting.  It has been likened to feelings of homesickness. It is sentimentality for the past.  The term itself is derived from the formation of a Greek compound, (nostos), meaning homecoming and a Homeric word (algos), meaning ache or pain.  It was coined by a 17^th century medical student to describe the anxieties shown by Swiss mercenaries who were fighting away from home. It was described as a medical condition of melancholy.  Early studies of nostalgia showed that sensations of smell and touch could sometimes evoke nostalgia by the processing of these stimuli first passing through the amygdala, the emotional seat of the brain.

 Some people experience a normal form of nostalgia as a wonderful feeling that is a combination of joy of what once was and, at the same time, a pang of regret that it is no longer.  However, there is a form of nostalgia that is psychologically negative and basically arouses a feeling of longing that limits one’s ability to understand how to let go of the past and accept the moment that was lost.   Such a negative nostalgia can promote defensive and depressed feelings. 

 Overall, it appears that indulging in enjoyable recollections of past events offers a peace of mind.  Casting one’s mind back to good times can maintain good mental health.

“Oh, for the good old days!”.           

                                                       

 

AN OLYMPIC LEGACY

     Many of us have watched the Olympics over the years.  However, the last Games of the XXXI Olympiad at Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, August 5-21, 2016 had a Motto “A New World” (Portuguese: Un mundo novo). There were 207 nations attending with 11,303 athletes who participated.  Its Motto was meaningful in particular ways.  But, before addressing them let’s take time to understand some history.

    The Olympic Games originated in ancient Greece primarily as a religious festival in honor of Zeus, the Father of all Gods.  The festival and games were held at a rural sanctuary site called Olympia in the western Peloponnesus peninsula of southern Greece.  It is not known just when the Games were first played.  The oldest recorded Olympic competition took place in 776 B.C.  It was the start of the first Olympiad, the four year period by which the Greeks recorded their history.  The games were a direct outgrowth of the beliefs and values of Greek society.  They idealized physical fitness, mental discipline and excellence in these attributes which honored Zeus.  The warlike city-states such as Sparta accepted the peaceful Olympic festivals and enjoyed the importance of athletic competition only to resort to war after the games ended.  Rome finally conquered Greece in 146 B.C.  It took over 1500 years for the Olympics to return.

     Rio has been faced with political and economic problems.  Yet, it has become the first South American city to host the Summer Olympics.  These were the first games to be held in a Portuguese-speaking country and the first to be held entirely during the host country’s winter season.  It is also the first time since 1968 that games were held in the Southern Hemisphere.  The lead-ups to the games were evident with issues including: the instability of the country’s federal government, healthy and safety concerns regarding the Zika virus and a doping scandal involving the participation of Russia’s athletes.

     Nevertheless, the spirit and excitement of the Games blossomed.  There was truly a “New World” exhibited.  Even athletes from the war-torn areas of the Middle East participated.  There was a great display of sportsmanship and goodwill among the participants.  When watching the events, one cannot escape the good feelings of seeing the handshakes and hugs shared among the athletes.  Even when a team or an athlete lost at an event, the drive and motivation to succeed was relentless.  There was no giving up.

When we see the turmoil and problems around the world and know there are terrible conditions facing people, the Olympics provide us with an optimistic view of life.

The excitement and enthusiasm of the athletes, their discipline and skill are reminders that the there is a positive future for humanity. 

 

 

 WHY HAVE ANNIVERSARIES?

 

 

Most weddings usually occur in June followed by July, August and September.

So, it stands to reason during the summer months couples celebrate their anniversary.
Tenure in a marriage can last anywhere from days to months to years.  There are those of us who have enjoyed over a half century of being together.  What did it take for us to maintain such a period of time together?  There is no simple answer.  As a matter of fact, if you interviewed each of us, you would get a myriad of explanations. 

It seems that there is a readiness for marriage and a personality mature enough to meet the commitment of a monogamous relationship.  When one is young, there is a tendency to romanticize the idea of love. That notion in itself gives one an ethereal feeling of adoration.   It’s like an experience that allows one to think that “falling in love” is the arrival of a utopia.  I would think those emotions nurture intimacy.  Yet, in time life teaches us that there is more than just living in a Disney World.  Healthy love allows us to keep our feet on the ground to attend everyday matters of living. 

Just recently, I read a feature article in the June 13, 2016 issue of Time magazine called “How to Stay Married” by Belinda Luscombe, editor at large. She addresses all the changes that occur in marriage making the point that lifetime monogamy is not a natural state, yet, it is worthwhile because it allows us to strengthen society.  It has provided a form of social stability.

Nevertheless, over many years, we have seen many changes in how marriages have formed.  Today, some couples live together and then marry.  Those who do marry experience big changes in their role as partners.  Sometimes the wife works and there is a stay-at-home dad.  For economic reasons, there are couples who still live with parents. Despite these variations many marriages endure to last for 50 or more years.

 Perhaps, the reason is they have learned to understand that “love is really a many splendid thing”.  They have learned that authentic love is an art form where each person respects another’s identity and never ever rejects their partner even when arguments occur. Therapists point out that intimacy can breed contempt which stifles vulnerability and without vulnerability intimacy can be lost.  Under such conditions, commitment in marriage can become strained. 

.Regardless of the trials and tribulations we faced during our years together, an anniversary is a time when we congratulate ourselves in knowing that we have maintained a close enduring relationship and nurtured shared interests.     

  

HOLDING HANDS

When we take the time to reflect on the journey of life, we come to realize how precious it is to share our love with each other.  However, our love and feelings of intimacy began with our mother.  She was the one who birthed you and probably the first person who held your little hand and provided you with nourishment, warmth and a safe place to rest your head.  That experience was the beginning of our earliest connection to give us a feeling of a bond to another person.

Physical intimacy is a sensual proximity or touching.  It is an act or a reaction that allows us to express feelings between people such as close friendship, love or sexual activity.  Examples of physical intimacy can occur without even touching another person such as sustained eye contact or when one enters another’s personal space. This kind of intimacy is a natural part of interpersonal relationships.  Research has indicated that it has health benefits.  A hug or a touch can result in a release of oxytocin, dopomaine, and serotonin, as well as a reduction in stress hormones.

 Holding hands, although a form of physical intimacy involving two or more people, may or may not be romantic.  In a scientific study, “Lending a hand”, neuroscientists from the University of Virginia and the University of Wisconsin studied the effect the simple act of a human touch has on people in stressful situations.  The participants underwent the threat of electric shock.  The researchers came to the conclusion that a “loving touch reassures.”  One of the researchers, Dr. James Coan said, “We found that holding the hand of really anyone made your brain work a little less hard in coping”.

 Holding hands is an act that is so common.  Pop stars and even animals do it.  It is also interesting that how you and your partner hold hands can reflect how you both see the relationship. According to a 2013 study published in Current Psychology about 90 percent of men when holding hands with their spouse put their hand on top, probably much like an adult puts their hand on top of a child’s hand. This behavior may imply that the man is the more dominant.  Yet, a 1999 study from the journal Perceptual and Motor Skills indicated that it is a more traditional way.  But what difference does it make?

What’s important is that there is a loving affective connection. It appears that we like to be connected.  Those of us in our senior years have faced a variety of stressful situations during our life such as illness, loss of a loved one, divorce, serious injury or even betrayal.  Yet, those moments when we felt a warm hand hold ours, it was so very comforting.  Sometimes, some of us enjoy holding hands while watching television or just sitting together and relaxing. There is a soothing warmth that radiates between us.

 

 

    

 

 

WHAT MAKES FRIENDSHIP

 

 

                                                    Those one cares about

                                                       Trust without doubt

                                                       Carry warm feelings

                                                       Make easy dealings

                                                       Always there to listen

                                                       When times are needed

                                                    To share private thoughts

                                                          For solace sought

                                                     Or enjoy pleasant times

                                                     For interesting diversions

                                                  That can become excursions

                                                       To enjoyable places

     There are so many synonyms for friends such as a pal, buddy, companion, acquaintance, comrade, ally, associate, colleague, supporter and helper.  If one prefaces the word true for each of the above synonyms, then the attribute of true adds an element of authenticity in a friendship.  It seems that true friendship constitutes an unconditional acceptance of another person.   This acceptance is lasting and enduring and regardless of intermittent or occasional disagreements there is a bonding of trust and faith with another that allows the friendship to endure   If the moral fabric of either friend is destroyed or lost, there is a strong possibility or even a probability that the friendship will deteriorate.  This situation is serious if both friends have always had similar moral values.  So, once the moral or ethical values are broken by either one the perception of respect for another person’s integrity can vanish.

    This explanation now offers an opportunity to become self reflective and to examine the kind of personality we have.  It is quite evident that in our advanced years we have become creatures of habits and carry some baggage from past experience that tends to influence our perceptions of other people and how we see the world.  It seems that we have ways of thinking, outlooks, thoughts, opinions, points of view, mind sets, attitudes and convictions that contributed to what we have become as a person.

    The question now is how well do we get along with each other?  How well do we make a conscious effort to be compassionate, accepting, empathic, understanding, sympathetic and patient with one another?  How well can we learn to be more comfortable and friendly?  It’s important to understand that learning is a powerful tool in life.  Unfortunately, the older we get the more of a challenge it is to learn, particularly at the rate we did when we were younger.  When we allow ourselves to be truly introspective, we can learn to understand how we can relate as a friend.  Undoubtedly,   it takes commitment, motivation and patience.

 

We aren’t given friendships.

We earn them!