WHY HAVE ANNIVERSARIES?

 

 

Most weddings usually occur in June followed by July, August and September.

So, it stands to reason during the summer months couples celebrate their anniversary.
Tenure in a marriage can last anywhere from days to months to years.  There are those of us who have enjoyed over a half century of being together.  What did it take for us to maintain such a period of time together?  There is no simple answer.  As a matter of fact, if you interviewed each of us, you would get a myriad of explanations. 

It seems that there is a readiness for marriage and a personality mature enough to meet the commitment of a monogamous relationship.  When one is young, there is a tendency to romanticize the idea of love. That notion in itself gives one an ethereal feeling of adoration.   It’s like an experience that allows one to think that “falling in love” is the arrival of a utopia.  I would think those emotions nurture intimacy.  Yet, in time life teaches us that there is more than just living in a Disney World.  Healthy love allows us to keep our feet on the ground to attend everyday matters of living. 

Just recently, I read a feature article in the June 13, 2016 issue of Time magazine called “How to Stay Married” by Belinda Luscombe, editor at large. She addresses all the changes that occur in marriage making the point that lifetime monogamy is not a natural state, yet, it is worthwhile because it allows us to strengthen society.  It has provided a form of social stability.

Nevertheless, over many years, we have seen many changes in how marriages have formed.  Today, some couples live together and then marry.  Those who do marry experience big changes in their role as partners.  Sometimes the wife works and there is a stay-at-home dad.  For economic reasons, there are couples who still live with parents. Despite these variations many marriages endure to last for 50 or more years.

 Perhaps, the reason is they have learned to understand that “love is really a many splendid thing”.  They have learned that authentic love is an art form where each person respects another’s identity and never ever rejects their partner even when arguments occur. Therapists point out that intimacy can breed contempt which stifles vulnerability and without vulnerability intimacy can be lost.  Under such conditions, commitment in marriage can become strained. 

.Regardless of the trials and tribulations we faced during our years together, an anniversary is a time when we congratulate ourselves in knowing that we have maintained a close enduring relationship and nurtured shared interests.