HOLDING HANDS

When we take the time to reflect on the journey of life, we come to realize how precious it is to share our love with each other.  However, our love and feelings of intimacy began with our mother.  She was the one who birthed you and probably the first person who held your little hand and provided you with nourishment, warmth and a safe place to rest your head.  That experience was the beginning of our earliest connection to give us a feeling of a bond to another person.

Physical intimacy is a sensual proximity or touching.  It is an act or a reaction that allows us to express feelings between people such as close friendship, love or sexual activity.  Examples of physical intimacy can occur without even touching another person such as sustained eye contact or when one enters another’s personal space. This kind of intimacy is a natural part of interpersonal relationships.  Research has indicated that it has health benefits.  A hug or a touch can result in a release of oxytocin, dopomaine, and serotonin, as well as a reduction in stress hormones.

 Holding hands, although a form of physical intimacy involving two or more people, may or may not be romantic.  In a scientific study, “Lending a hand”, neuroscientists from the University of Virginia and the University of Wisconsin studied the effect the simple act of a human touch has on people in stressful situations.  The participants underwent the threat of electric shock.  The researchers came to the conclusion that a “loving touch reassures.”  One of the researchers, Dr. James Coan said, “We found that holding the hand of really anyone made your brain work a little less hard in coping”.

 Holding hands is an act that is so common.  Pop stars and even animals do it.  It is also interesting that how you and your partner hold hands can reflect how you both see the relationship. According to a 2013 study published in Current Psychology about 90 percent of men when holding hands with their spouse put their hand on top, probably much like an adult puts their hand on top of a child’s hand. This behavior may imply that the man is the more dominant.  Yet, a 1999 study from the journal Perceptual and Motor Skills indicated that it is a more traditional way.  But what difference does it make?

What’s important is that there is a loving affective connection. It appears that we like to be connected.  Those of us in our senior years have faced a variety of stressful situations during our life such as illness, loss of a loved one, divorce, serious injury or even betrayal.  Yet, those moments when we felt a warm hand hold ours, it was so very comforting.  Sometimes, some of us enjoy holding hands while watching television or just sitting together and relaxing. There is a soothing warmth that radiates between us.