OUR INTENTIONS

 Our relationships with people can change from time to time. Sometimes we like, love, hate, envy, or resent them. We might even have these feelings toward a person we have never seen or met. To understand these feelings we need to look at ourselves and if you can allow yourself to reach out, it's amazing how much you can accomplish.

Let's begin by trying to understand the meanings of terms we often use. We speak of one having compassion; that is, showing concern for the suffering of another person. We might say we are in sympathy with one's views. Empathy involves the ability to identify with what someone else is feeling almost to the point of actually feeling the emotion of what one is experiencing, be it sadness, happiness or even anger.

There may be times when we don't get along with others or even want to be their friend. But, we all have good intentions and the capacity to wish them well. Some of us may have negative intentions but we are capable of changing those intentions to be positive. It really is a matter of the attitude we have.

Recent research reported in the Journal Social Psychological and Personality Science indicates that good intentions can be an important part in our daily experiences. One example is that one group of participants sat in an easy chair with an electronic massage pad which was turned on by a computer. A second group received the same massages but the pad was turned on by a human. The second group reported experiencing more pleasure from the massage than the first group. In another study, people were given a candy package with a note on it for Valentine's Day. For half the participants the note stated, "I picked this just for you. Hope it makes you happy." For the other half the note read, "Whatever--I don't care. I just picked it randomly." Research showed that the candy tasted better and sweeter when participants received the note of good intentions than the note that stated the candy was chosen randomly.

Acting with good intentions means we are doing something out of the goodness of our heart. That kind of behavior makes for good relationships and can provide enriching experiences. It does matter if we act with good intentions rather than to act indifferently or with meanness. It's a healthy philosophy to believe that people are generally good and want to be happy.
In essence, we do care about what another person's intentions are. The goal is for positive connections.

  Important questions to ask are: Was something done on purpose or by accident? What is our outlook? What will be our intentions to address the matter?