TIMES HAVE CHANGED

    I have recently achieved my 95^th year as nonagenarian and I started to reminisce when I was a high school senior. I still remember my English teacher who was teaching literature and we were focusing on poetry.  She captured my interest particularly in Rudyard Kipling’s poem IF. It’s remarkable how vivid my memory is from that class and how much I enjoyed it.   Even at this stage of my life I still revere those days in her class.  Yes, times have changed.  Kipling had written IF as a dedication to his son. I realize today that I was very naïve to his orientation as a writer. He was born1865 in the Bombay Presidency of British India and died in London, England at age 70 in 1936. He was a product of the Victorian British Empire. One can appreciate that there were contrasting views of him for much of the 20^th century. So, when I read his poem today, I can understand why a feminine version of IF has become more receptive. Undoubtedly, the Women’s Movement is still blossoming.  Despite the pandemic either version is an inspiration to young people today. I guess my nostalgia has clouded my thinking because as a high school student those many years ago, I did not feel the impact of social changes that were beginning to occur, particularly, regarding the women’s movement.  So, when I read a feminine version of his poem recently, it was a surprise.

BY  ELIZABETH LINCOLN OTIS

(With apologies to Mr. Rudyard Kipling)

If you can dress to make yourself attractive,

Yet not make puffs and curls your chief delight.

If you can swim and row, be strong and active,

But of the gentler graces lose not sight.

If you can dance without a craze for dancing,

Play without giving play too strong a hold,

Enjoy the love of friends without romancing,

Care for the weak, the friendless and the old.

 If you can master French and Greek and Latin,

And not acquire, as well, a priggish mien,

If you can feel the touch of silk and satin

Without despising calico and jean.

If you can ply a saw and use a hammer,

Can do a man’s work when the need occurs,

Can sing when asked, without excuse or stammer,

Can rise above unfriendly snubs and slurs;

If you can make good bread as well as fudges,

Can sew with skill and have an eye for dust,

If you can be a friend and hold no grudges,

A girl whom all will love because they must.

 If sometimes you should meet and love another

And make a home with faith and peace enshrined,

And you its soul—a loyal wife and mother—

You will work out nearly to my mind

The plan that has been developed through the ages,

And win the best that life can have in store, you will be, my girl,

the model for the sages—A woman whom the world will bow before.

                                          Source:  Father: An Anthology of Verse

(EP Dutton & Company, 1931)

                                        

 

 

   

 

 

 

                                THE HORNS OF A DILEMMA 

     The onset of the coronavirus pandemic has created such a devastating impact to our existence that those of us who are living really do not have much peace of mind.  We all have different kinds of coping skills and with the loss of so many lives it seems impossible to find sensible answers for what is happening. The disease is sinister and has found its way into so many lives.

     So, what is the answer as to how to end this pandemic? Obviously, the primary drive for everyone is to survive.  Yet, our country was founded to establish freedom and the democratic process of government to maintain human dignity and respect for each other.  We take pride in that we seek to find continuous ways to fulfill the American dream. Now, we are again facing an enemy which is not as clear a target as we faced in many of our past wars.  It takes a great deal of maturity and patience to win this war.  Most important we hear the refrain, “We are in this TOGETHER!”. But, are we all on the same page?

    Read the newspapers, watch the television broadcasts, hear what the states and federal government present.  It appears we are on the horns of a dilemma.  How so? Ask yourself what is the primary issue we are all facing? I submit first it is the drive to stay alive and be well.  Yet, at the same time we want the right to be free to pursue our American dream of getting an education, making a living and producing economic security. What is the resolution to this dilemma? It seems we need to sort out the options we have.  We could choose to let the disease run its course and continue to mitigate it as much as possible by staying at home, keep social distancing and washing our hands.  Or, we can try to abide by the state and national guidelines available for testing.  This particular option is really a mess that is muddled, jumbled, confusing, unclear and offers no peace of mind.

    You see, we need to realize that our society cannot accept Draconian measures which would be destructive and upsetting to our fundamental values. However, we need to recognize that some form of a national program that addresses the entire nation can help us deal with the unwieldy attempts to use testing.  I remember during World War II none of us resisted the measures of national security that were made at the federal level.  There was no hassle among each of our states regarding legislation that was for the safety and security of our citizens. It is so important to understand that a centralized program that entails every one of us by way of a national system of testing that every single person gets will eliminate all these individual state rules for opening the economy.  No one state will have to meet a national standard for employment, opening stores, beaches, restaurants, parks, schools etc.  Those options will still be retained by each state.  But, a federally managed total testing program that is free of any political or partisan interests should be in place. The fundamental responsibility would be to protect the HEALTH AND SAFETY of all our citizens.  

 

OUR PERSONAL SPACE

    Before the onset of our present pandemic, I always respected one’s privacy. Yet, there were often occasions when we shook hands, hugged each other, and even kissed.  Now, with a serious need to protect ourselves and each other, we have the coronavirus national guidelines for America. They are especially important. They provide us with the opportunity to save our lives and those we love. Now, each of us is faced with virtually separating ourselves from each other. We refer to it as social distancing. Such behavior emphasizes our concept of privacy.

    I recall that our privacy also includes protecting our personal space. In that sense, we still need to understand that regardless of social distancing, we no longer must be so concerned about, so to speak, breaking our personal space.  I’m talking about those times you might remember. We do not like to have someone stand so close to us that we smell one’s breath or perfume.  I remember being asked to avoid using fragrances when seated in an audience because other persons may have allergies to which they could be sensitive. Maintaining our personal space can also protect us from stress or possible aggression.

    As long as we maintain our isolation the way it is, we can be comforted to know we are in charge of ourselves. We can find ways to enjoy our privacy and not succumb to stress. Yes, television and computer technology can be a vicarious pleasure and even contact each other. Remember,

“AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION IS WORTH A POUND OF CURE”

   

A NECESSARY SYSTEM

    I remember when I was a child, I learned very quickly each day that it was important to wash my hands and face and brush my teeth. When I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner, I learned to use the correct utensils.  I never considered those activities as rules. I learned to say please and thank you or excuse me as the appropriate occasion arose. When I went to school, the teacher made it clear there was to be no talking in the classroom unless you raised your hand and got permission. Somehow, as time went on, I found that I wasn’t feeling that these behaviors were laws. But, eventually I came to realize that there are laws everyone is obligated to obey.

 

    So, I ask myself what does the word law mean?   Law is commonly understood as a system of rules that are created and enforced through social or governmental institutions to control conduct.  Words for “law” generally mean etymologically “what is right”.  Again, etymologically, “something straight,” “upright”, “true”, “legally right”, “put in place”, or proper.  A point to be made is that a law is set in place not to be excused or ignored.  Laws exist for good reason in that they can help to protect people from horrible acts such as murder or rape. In a milder sense, laws can help humans protect them from others who can steal or cheat.

    The history of law is closely related to the changes in civilizations.  Ancient Egyptian law as far back as 3000 BC was characterized by tradition, rhetorical speech and social equality.  In the 22^nd century BC, the Sumerian ruler Ur-Nammu had formulated a first law code.  Around 1760 BC, King Hammurabi developed Babylonian law that he codified and inscribed it in stone.  The Old Testament dated back to 1270 BC took the form of moral imperatives as recommendations for a good society.  The small Greek city- state ancient Athens, about the 8^th century BC was the first society to be based on the broad inclusion of its citizenry.  However, Athens had no legal science or single word for “law”.  Rather it relied on the three-way distinction between divine law, human decree, and custom.  However, Ancient Greek Law contained major constitutional innovations in the development of democracy.  Roman law was influenced by Greek philosophy and developed more detailed adaptations to cope with the changing social conditions by establishing new codifications of the law.  During the Middle Ages Roman law was rediscovered around the 11^th century when medieval legal scholars began to research Roman codes and adapt their concepts to canon law, giving birth to the seeds which medieval England, royal courts developed as common law.

    It seems that without law and order civilizations would crumble. Yet, laws (rules or regulations) can sometimes smother or restrain freedom if implemented without fair deliberations. Every person has a responsibility to acknowledge and respect law and order. We live in a world today that offers tremendous advances in technology, science and medicine.   Confirming, accepting and obeying laws gives us an opportunity to enjoy these benefits.                                                                                  

A COMPARISON

CONVICTION AND BELIEF

    Maybe, after an examination of these two words we might have a better understanding of how they are used.  They have become part of our frequent conversations.  They appear similar in meaning.  Yet, at times, they convey a distinct difference.  A belief is a mental claim as truth regardless of supporting or contrary empirical evidence. It is an opinion that to the one who expresses it perceives it with unconditional acceptance. The origin of belief is from the old English, geleafa (faith), from West Germanic ga-laubon “to hold dear, esteem, trust”.  The final word was altered in the 15^th century to believe.

Conviction was derived from Anglo-French “convicter” or Latin “convictus” possibly the act of convincing.    A conviction is when a person has listened to or been convinced of or from supported information.  A person who expresses a conviction has taken into consideration valid information that tends to confirm one’s viewpoint. Yes, both terms run close parallels in meaning but which one would you use to reflect more integrity?

    After all, one who has integrity reflects the quality or state of being complete, unimpaired, upright, and honest.  It appears that everyone is entitled to one’s own beliefs and convictions.  However, an open mind will allow anyone to have compassion, patience, empathy and a willingness to give an ear to another’s view or outlook.

      

                                   FLAVOR OF CONVERSATION

    There probably was an occasion where we have had friendly discussions and a sarcastic remark was expressed.  We really don’t appreciate it and no matter to whom it was said it may have left an uncomfortable feeling. That’s what sarcasm does. I decided to do some research and found that a sarcastic remark can inadvertently become what some people perceive as humorous.  But, it really isn’t funny. It’s defined as an expression to make someone look or feel foolish.  It has a flavor of condescension.   For examples: When something bad happens the comment is, “That’s just what you needed today “, or, When you expected something to happen, especially after warning someone about it, “Well, what a surprise!” and when your sister spills ketchup on her blouse, “the stain makes your cheeks look rosy!” or, when someone does something wrong, you say, “Very good! Well done!”

    When we speak of sarcasm, we are really referring to the term sardonic or sardonicism, that is a sardonic remark that is “disdainfully or skeptically humorous “or “derisively mocking.” The concept of and the origin of sardonicism is uncertain.  But, it stems from the Mediterranean island of Sardinia. The 10^thcentury Byzantine Greek encyclopedia “Suda” traces the word’s earliest roots to the notion of grinning in the face of danger, or curling one’s lips back at evil.  

    Professionals in psychology and related fields have for many years considered sarcasm as negative behavior. They refer to it to be a maladaptive coping mechanism for those with unresolved anger or frustration.  Psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus considers sarcasm as “hostility disguised as humor.” Although an occasional sarcastic comment may enliven a conversation, he suggests that too frequent use of sarcasm can tend to “overwhelm the emotional flavor of any conversation.”

How well do we help making conversations comfortable for each other?