ACCORDING TO HOPE

How often do we express hope?  Do we really believe that hoping will make it so?  Or, do we express hope to convince ourselves that whatever we hope for can be the answer for our thoughts? What is hope?

According to the dictionary, it is defined as the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. As a verb, it includes “expect with confidence “and “to cherish a desire with anticipation”. Its opposites include feelings of rejection, hopelessness and despair.  Overall, hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.

Positive psychologists such as Barbara Fredrickson recognize that hope comes into play when crises loom in one’s life by opening new creative opportunities. She asserts that a wide range of ideas, as well as positive emotions, can arise from one’s self awareness such as empowerment, courage and joy. She says hopeful people are “like the little engine that could by keep telling themselves “I think I can, I can”. Such positive thinking occurs when based on a realistic sense of optimism, not on a naive “false hope”. Charles Snyder and Alfred Adler linked hope and willpower with determining a reachable goal. Snyder postulated that there are three main things that comprise hopeful thinking: (1) Goals-approaching life in a goal-oriented way, (2) Pathways-finding different ways to achieve your goals, (3) Agency-believing that you can instigate change and achieve these goals. Snyder believes that hopeful people can accomplish these three goals with perseverance even when obstacles get in their way.

It seems that being optimistic is an inherent component of hope.  One of life’s greatest challenges is be positive in one’s thinking regardless of the obstacles we face or the dreams we have for the future.

BEING THANKFUL

When we watch television or read a newspaper we are often inundated with devastating news such as murders, terrorism, or horrific incidents like in Las Vegas and Newton, Connecticut. Undoubtedly, these events are upsetting and very depressing.  It seems that internationally, we are faced with the possibility of nuclear war. Yet, we do have the opportunity to be thankful for the saner moments we have.

This November 23, 2917 is Thanksgiving Day in America.  It was first held in 1621 at Plymouth, Massachusetts when the pilgrims arrived on the Mayflower.  This holiday has become a tradition to give us the opportunity to express our thanks for the blessings we have despite the sadness and depressing events that face us personally or socially. It seems that historically, it was not an easy time for the first settlers but they found help from the Wampanoag Indians who taught them how to cultivate the land. Eventually, the first Thanksgiving was held for three days with the Indians invited as guests.  Imagine how meaningful the holiday was for the first settlers.  It was a true blessing for them after a grueling trip across the ocean.  You might say they were some of our earliest immigrants.

It wasn’t until the 1660s that the holiday took on any significance. The author of “Mary Had A Little Lamb”, Sarah Josepha Hale is thought to be the person who persuaded Abraham Lincoln to make Thanksgiving a national holiday.  In 1863 President Lincoln made Thanksgiving a national holiday to be observed on the last Thursday in November to be the national day of Thanksgiving.  It was traditionally a religious and cultural celebration.  Today, similar holidays exist in other countries throughout the world in which people hold ceremonies to give thanks, common in almost all religions and cultures, especially after harvests.

It is particularly interesting to know that our friendly neighbor Canada was thought to have its first Thanksgiving in 1578.  It is believed that it occurred when an explorer Martin Frobisher held a Thanksgiving celebration for surviving his journey from England.  Some believe that these celebrations can be attributed to French settlers who came to New France in the 1600s with the explorer Samuel de Champlain. He celebrated successful harvests which were shared with the native people and had large feasts of thanks. However, most Canadians consider Thanksgiving a statutory holiday.  There are other places or countries such as Germany, Japan, Grenada, Liberia and some Caribbean islands who celebrate a variety of Thanksgiving holidays.  Most important is the observation that many people throughout the world take time to give thanks for the blessings they have. It’s the dedication toward life that has value.

 AMBULATABLEBALANCE

Demographics is referred to as a particular sector of a population usually described by data such as age, sex, education level, income level, marital status, occupation, religion, birth rate, death rate, average family size, and average age.  We could have gathered some of this data to describe our community when it first opened in 2001 and then again, perhaps now in 2017.  But, it really isn’t necessary because our armchair observations reveal that the age designated for residence in 2001 was 55 or older. That means the average age today is probably closer to 80 or more.  Furthermore, there are many residents who have passed away or even moved.  So, where does it leave us?

 We know that there are new homeowners who have come here to address the 55 or over age range.  That leaves us with a diverse sample of people living here. So, that means there is more disparity to meet the needs and address the interests of our inhabitants.

Let’s put the above information aside for a few minutes and look at what is most important for us. That is our longevity.  Certainly, recreation and entertainment are essential for one’s well being. How aware are we in managing what I refer to as our “ambulatablebalance” It is the blending of our mental and physical activity. It is one thing to play tennis, golf, pickleball, bowl or ride bicycles and swim.  Some people in their senior years become sedentary, inactive or passive. Consider living a well-balanced life as we get older. We all ultimately face medical issues that can be mental or physical.

 Consider the following tips:

 1.  Nurture yourself:

      If you don’t get proper rest, you will be tired of any activity.

      Eat food that is healthy and not binge just to relieve a disappointment

2.  Set your priorities:

     Examine your values and live by them.

     Accept who you are and avoid self-pity.

3.  Expect what is unexpected:

     Roll with the punches.

     Know that feeling unhappy passes

4.  Build an efficient mindset:

     Plan ahead and be organized.

     Don’t delay what needs to be done.

5.  Use your head:

     Find time to read and learn.

     Know that to learn is ageless.

6.  Activate an Ambulatablebalance

    Take an easy walk ambulate (move).

    Balance your physical and mental state.

 In the final analysis, it’s important to realize that the balance is to understand that the glass                                                                   is

“Not half empty but half full”.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

There are occasions when we have a feeling or an opinion about something.  We may think that, just off the top of our head, something seems unfair.  Take the example of parking spaces.  You see someone who gets out of a car in a handicapped parking space who appears perfectly normal. You wonder or have an impression or a feeling that makes you question why does this person have that parking space? You notice the person alights from the car fully intact and completely ambulatory, no cane, walker or crutches. You might even question the legitimacy of their having a handicapped permit.

One day, we parked in a space directly next to a handicapped parking space.  Sitting in the front passenger’s seat, I looked out of my window and directly on my right side, I saw a big white van parked in that handicapped parking space.  Momentarily, the door of his driver’s side opened and I saw a man drop what looked like a fire worker’s boot on the pavement.  Then, he let his left leg without a foot, descend into the boot and he walked away. 

That experience awakened my senses and helped me realize how much more perceptive I need to be in making impressions that sometimes are not really accurate, adequate, justifiable, or fair.  It was a good lesson in humility.  As the saying goes,

 “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”  

                                                               

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 MENTALLY STIMULATED

We do have our dull moments when things seem to be at a standstill and everything appears boring.  Yet, all it takes is a spark of insight, a quick awakening, or what we occasionally call an “Aha Phenomenon”.  It’s the process of being mentally stimulated. or most enjoyable being inspired.  Yes, and an inspiration gives an impetus to being creative.  I think there are some of us who, as we emerge into our twilight years,  lose sight of that wonderful feeling of inspiration.  The wonderful thing about it is that even under debilitating or difficult conditions we can rally to creativity.   It is a quality we have that is latent, asleep, or lost temporarily out of sight.  I think an inspiration can occur just from allowing ourselves to be curious about something.

Suppose you say to yourself: “What if I took my camera to Publix when I go shopping? Wow, I could take some interesting pictures, collect them and make an album called, LIFE AND FOOD IN PUBLIX.  That sounds almost crazy or off the wall.  Nevertheless, it became your creative experience.  And, your life has become enriched with a novel new idea.  How about that? You see how something obvious can take on a new meaning for you? Yes, playing cards, reading a book, watching TV, going out to dinner or going swimming are pleasant diversions but do they occur from inspirations? Are they really creative?  I don’t think so.

It takes the idea of ingenuity, imagination, originality, or insight that feeds or nourishes inspiration.  When we open our minds to explore our thoughts we may get an inspiration.

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions…”Albert Einstein

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter..”. Mark Twain

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts…” Eleanor Roosevelt

CALM WATERS

    There are certain times in each one’s life when adverse conditions occur.  They could be personal, social, political, economic or medical.  As we get older these conditions can be very difficult to face and, in some cases, they appear insurmountable.  Yet, thanks to our personal strengths and resources we learn to cope and resolve issues.  Sometimes, even

 if they are unresolved we find occasions I call “Calm Waters”.

    These Calm Waters are pauses or time intervals where or when the issue is, I would say, incubating.   It’s when you know that the worst can occur or when you are not certain what the outcome will be.  But, your life is not momentarily disrupted or destroyed.  It’s a time period where you can go on with your life and things move along peacefully even though you know you have yet to face the issue or address it.  It’s like a breathing space that gives you an opportunity to prepare for meeting the consequences of the issue.  If you can really get to feel the calmness of the waters, you are able to deal with the issue when it is faced. 
     Why?  Because you can use the period of calm waters to prepare for what will be addressed.   You can build confidence in yourself by understanding the issue by learning to be more intellectual rather than emotional.  It takes a certain amount of patience and insight to experience those calm waters.  Only you and no one else can float in them.
    Some of us know we are going to have a medical procedure and expect to experience treatment. Or, sometimes we have an ongoing personal problem.  So, how do you deal with it?  Do you live each day with chronic endless anxiety or do you allow yourself to float in calm waters?       

EYES CLOSED

  

 I am surprised to realize that there is an obvious tool available to me that I have failed to use more often.  Meditation exercises and seeking a mantra to find an existential peace is not my thing.  I found that I’m not a candidate for such an experience.  However, that  being said, occasionally, I have been in situations where it has been necessary for me to just sit and wait for a car to come, my turn to have the barber cut my hair, the doctor to see me or perhaps my wife to finish shopping as I sit in a comfortable chair at the mall. 

Closing my eyes at such times, when I'm not sleepy, I can conjure up an image that can be very relaxing.  For example, I can visualize a scene by the lake where I have often sat.  I can picture the pattern of colors of a new shirt I bought.  I can picture a nice hot fudge sundae I would like to eat.  The fact of the matter is, with my eyes closed I can remove myself from my immediate surroundings and avoid feeling bored or impatient for waiting.  Closing my eyes, I am actually insulating myself from my immediate surroundings that provide me for a wonderful moment to enjoy privacy.  Incidentally, I can even shut out noise by concentrating.

It’s very interesting to know how closed eyes can play such a wonderful part in our life.  Think about the many times we close them aside from sleeping.   When something frightens us or excites us our eyes close momentarily, as if to escape from the shock,  or how about when we kiss or hug?  Don’t we close them to enjoy the moment ? I’m not sure it is necessary to become involved in transcendental meditation if we can get a handle on our own ready available tool, closing our eyes.  Yes, even under stressful situations closing our eyes can give us an opportunity to sort out our feelings and organize our thoughts.  Those instances are not always easy but they can be surmounted.

 

PATIENCE FOR PATIENTS

 

 

It’s not always easy to find comfort when you are ill, whether you are at home, in the doctor’s office or in the hospital.  First of all, it takes the ability to cope with your condition and be aware of what you are feeling.  As long as you are fully conscious, you are the only one capable to communicate what is wrong.  A caring person, be it your loved one, physician, dentist, nurse, therapist, or even a friend can’t do much for you unless you are alert and willing to share what’s bothering you.  Regardless of the professional skill a caring person has, each one has to have personality attributes such as patience, ability to listen, build trust, show empathy and encouragement.  Those qualities are critical for helping a person.

 Medical care is facing challenging conditions today more than years ago.  In some areas, hospitals are understaffed which makes it difficult to provide adequate nursing care.  Doctors, who are in public or private practice, have heavy caseloads.  There have been tremendous advances in medical science; however, accountability for medical services has become computerized.  It appears that more and more doctors are finding less time to talk with their patients.  When the patient goes for an office visit, the doctor does give a thorough examination but less time to relate with the patient because the doctor has to spend time typing into the computer medical data on the patient in compliance for insurance coverage.  At the time of a patient’s visit, the patient often sits there waiting for him to complete inputting data into the computer.  The good old days of the patient relationship with the doctor is much shorter.  Oh yes, often the doctor’s bedside manner still exists but, the time is brief.  Also, the doctor has other patients waiting to be seen. So, patience for the patient is often kind but limited.  There are a few doctors who manage to massage the environment by using a (PA) Physician’s Assistant.  But, doing so can disappoint the patient because the (PA) is not the equivalent of a doctor.  But the (PA) serves a legitimate role to alleviate the load of the physician in attending to a patient as an assistant to the doctor. This assistance may be unsettling for a patient.

Yes, times have changed.  As a matter of fact, a doctor’s home visit is rare and in the past.  Although, there are doctors who will take the time to make a phone call to the patient as a follow up to find out how one is recuperating.

Patience is a virtue.            

 

 

    

 

 

EATING TOOLS

 

 

The waiter is called to our table to remind him that there are two setups missing.  We cannot enjoy dinner without utensils for eating.  Yes, how easy it is for us to use a fork, knife or spoon.   It’s hard to believe that there was a time when no such cutlery was available.

 During the Stone Age of humankind, sharp stones were formed to cut meat and fruit.  Simple shapes of spoons were made from hollowed out pieces of wood or sea shells that were connected to sticks.  Animal horns were used to consume liquids. The Iron Age introduced the use of metalwork which allowed small “sharped tipped” knives to become commonplace for eating.  The rise of the fork came with the arrival of the 16th Century Italian Renaissance.  Forks were used by nobility.  They were used primarily with exotic foods which brought finger stains that were harder to clean.  The use of the fork spread across Europe by the early 17th Century.  However, the American colonies did not implement its use until the early 19th Century when multi-tinned forks created in Germany and England came to the United States.

 Nevertheless, today there is a great concern about the excessive use of disposal cutlery in the form of plastic utensils.   In 2010, a former researcher for The International Corps Research Institute for the Semi-Arid Tropics (ICRISAT) Narayana Peesapaty founded Bakeys, (sometimes known as Bakey’s) an Indian edible cutlery manufacturing startup company in Hyderabad, Telangana.  His product is an eco-friendly alternative to disposable utensils prepared with plastic, wood and bamboo chopsticks.  His goal is to produce products which will contribute to waste reduction.  His primary concern is that there are an estimated 120 billion plastic utensils thrown in the garbage by Indian diners annually. 

 Bakeys uses a variety of different flours to bake one-time edible spoons, forks and chopsticks which can be consumed after their use.  The products are vegetarian manufactured using all natural ingredients, primarily sorghum as well as wheat, rice, and millet.  The spoons have a shelf-life of 18 months and are made so that they will naturally decompose between three and seven days if not consumed.  The spoons are made with several flavors, such as cumin, mint-ginger, carrot-beetroot and sugar.  As of April 2016, the company is only marketing edible spoons, but plans to expand its operation to begin distribution of forks and chopsticks. 

 Peesapety’s effort to campaign funding has been slow but increasing and he looks forward to his product reaching Europe and the United States. His project is another advance toward awakening an eco-friendlier environment.  Yes, it is true that metal utensils can be washed and reused.  But, think about the thousands of fast food places that distribute the plastic utensils.

 

 

 

PAST IS PRESENT

 

It has been said often that we need to look to the future and not linger on the past knowledge of our life.  But, then it depends upon what we consider as lasting.   Considering the past, opens up much information that is continually available to us in printed matter such as books, newspapers, periodicals or oral conversations.  All the information that has accumulated through the centuries even before written history has given us insight about life.  Archaeologists and historians have provided us with knowledge of past civilizations such as the Persian, Greek and Roman empires.  They have long gone and passed; but, we have learned from their past existence.

 Then again, there is a different kind of past that we often resort to that is more personal and found through reminiscence or nostalgia.  At first, one might think they are alike because they take us into the past.  Although they allow us to experience past feelings and thoughts they are slightly different from one another.   Reminiscing allows us to remember or recall certain instances.  For example, when having dinner in a restaurant and looking at the couple at the next table, we are reminded or we trigger a reminiscence of our trip to the islands just by seeing blouses each is wearing that shows a Polynesian pattern.  We find ourselves looking back to the beautiful sunsets we saw in Hawaii.  

Nostalgia is similar to reminiscing but has a slightly different meaning. Nostalgia has usually been associated with a longing for a past setting.  It has been likened to feelings of homesickness. It is sentimentality for the past.  The term itself is derived from the formation of a Greek compound, (nostos), meaning homecoming and a Homeric word (algos), meaning ache or pain.  It was coined by a 17^th century medical student to describe the anxieties shown by Swiss mercenaries who were fighting away from home. It was described as a medical condition of melancholy.  Early studies of nostalgia showed that sensations of smell and touch could sometimes evoke nostalgia by the processing of these stimuli first passing through the amygdala, the emotional seat of the brain.

 Some people experience a normal form of nostalgia as a wonderful feeling that is a combination of joy of what once was and, at the same time, a pang of regret that it is no longer.  However, there is a form of nostalgia that is psychologically negative and basically arouses a feeling of longing that limits one’s ability to understand how to let go of the past and accept the moment that was lost.   Such a negative nostalgia can promote defensive and depressed feelings. 

 Overall, it appears that indulging in enjoyable recollections of past events offers a peace of mind.  Casting one’s mind back to good times can maintain good mental health.

“Oh, for the good old days!”.