WHAT ARE YOUR COMFORT ZONES?

 

 Finding a quiet place

Where one has space

Being at rest

Feeling one’s best

Having time to reflect

Giving self-respect

Never to neglect

Responsibility for life

 

 

     Do you recall a famous statement in the Declaration of Independence, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”?  I wonder what we understand as the meaning of happiness.  Yet, there is another idea, contentment which has a similar connotation.

     When we look closely, both concepts are really subtly different.   When people can live with expectations that are in harmony with what they have experienced in life, they probably have achieved the greatest mental contentment possible.   It is characterized with a mental state of emotional feelings such as, serenity, calmness, ease, tranquility, fulfillment, peace, or gratification.  In a way, contentment can be defined as the state of being satisfied yet not uncaring or apathetic. 

     Happiness is also a mental condition characterized by positive or pleasant emotions extending from contentment to intense joy.  In contrast to contentment, happiness is more of a transient experience and hence, is often perceived as something to pursue.

It is this latter perception that gave rise to the movement in humanistic psychology.

     Abraham Maslow was the founder of Humanistic Psychology in the 1930s who introduced the notion that human beings seek to fulfill a hierarchy of needs which when eventually met allow a person to experience moments of love, understanding, happiness, or joy.  It is a state Maslow referred to as self-actualization when an individual feels totally alive and self-sufficient.   Positive Psychology is a recent branch of psychology introduced by Martin Seligman in 1998.  He asserts that happiness is not solely derived from external, momentary pleasures.  He provides the acronym PERMA to summarize Positive Psychology’s research findings:  humans seem happiest when they have Pleasure (tasty food, warm baths, etc.), Engagement (or flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity), Relationships (social ties have turned out to be an extremely reliable indicator of happiness), Meaning (a perceived quest or belonging to something bigger), and Accomplishments (having realized tangible goals).

     In clinical and positive psychology self-acceptance is considered the prerequisite for change to occur in our attitude toward life.  According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance refers to an individual’s satisfaction or happiness within oneself and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. 

     Regardless of our age, self-acceptance involves self-understanding, and a realistic, subjective, awareness of our strengths and weaknesses.  Complete self-acceptance can give each of us a feeling that we are of “unique worth”.  We can identify and find our comfort zones with conscientious commitment to seeking personal fulfillment, be it happiness or contentment.

                       References you may find for interesting reading:

 

Maslow, Abraham (1998). Towards a Psychology of Being. Wiley & Sons, New York.

Seligman, Martin E. (2006) Learned Optimism, How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Vintage Books, New York.

Shepard, L.A.(1979)Self-acceptance: The evaluative component  of the self-concept construct.  American Educational Research Journal,16(2),139-160.