WHAT ARE YOUR COMFORT ZONES?

 

 Finding a quiet place

Where one has space

Being at rest

Feeling one’s best

Having time to reflect

Giving self-respect

Never to neglect

Responsibility for life

 

 

     Do you recall a famous statement in the Declaration of Independence, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”?  I wonder what we understand as the meaning of happiness.  Yet, there is another idea, contentment which has a similar connotation.

     When we look closely, both concepts are really subtly different.   When people can live with expectations that are in harmony with what they have experienced in life, they probably have achieved the greatest mental contentment possible.   It is characterized with a mental state of emotional feelings such as, serenity, calmness, ease, tranquility, fulfillment, peace, or gratification.  In a way, contentment can be defined as the state of being satisfied yet not uncaring or apathetic. 

     Happiness is also a mental condition characterized by positive or pleasant emotions extending from contentment to intense joy.  In contrast to contentment, happiness is more of a transient experience and hence, is often perceived as something to pursue.

It is this latter perception that gave rise to the movement in humanistic psychology.

     Abraham Maslow was the founder of Humanistic Psychology in the 1930s who introduced the notion that human beings seek to fulfill a hierarchy of needs which when eventually met allow a person to experience moments of love, understanding, happiness, or joy.  It is a state Maslow referred to as self-actualization when an individual feels totally alive and self-sufficient.   Positive Psychology is a recent branch of psychology introduced by Martin Seligman in 1998.  He asserts that happiness is not solely derived from external, momentary pleasures.  He provides the acronym PERMA to summarize Positive Psychology’s research findings:  humans seem happiest when they have Pleasure (tasty food, warm baths, etc.), Engagement (or flow, the absorption of an enjoyed yet challenging activity), Relationships (social ties have turned out to be an extremely reliable indicator of happiness), Meaning (a perceived quest or belonging to something bigger), and Accomplishments (having realized tangible goals).

     In clinical and positive psychology self-acceptance is considered the prerequisite for change to occur in our attitude toward life.  According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance refers to an individual’s satisfaction or happiness within oneself and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. 

     Regardless of our age, self-acceptance involves self-understanding, and a realistic, subjective, awareness of our strengths and weaknesses.  Complete self-acceptance can give each of us a feeling that we are of “unique worth”.  We can identify and find our comfort zones with conscientious commitment to seeking personal fulfillment, be it happiness or contentment.

                       References you may find for interesting reading:

 

Maslow, Abraham (1998). Towards a Psychology of Being. Wiley & Sons, New York.

Seligman, Martin E. (2006) Learned Optimism, How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Vintage Books, New York.

Shepard, L.A.(1979)Self-acceptance: The evaluative component  of the self-concept construct.  American Educational Research Journal,16(2),139-160.

 

 

 

MUNCHKIN-LUMPAS

BY

Andrew Gellen

(my grandson, age 7)
0nce upon a time three little people stood in their house. These little people were called munchkin-lumpas. They liked chocolate a lot. Wherever they went and whatever they did they would always have chocolate on their face and with them. Their cheeks were as chubby as Santa Claus. They also loved mangos, can't miss that mango meal. They have at least ten mangos a day. They cannot let their beds get dirty with mangos or chocolate or they will eat their beds then and that would not be good. They live in a den like bears. There is a maid, a danger watcher, and a kicker. Their dens are made of sand. The maid cleans and makes beds, the danger watcher watches for danger, if the danger watcher spots danger it reports to the kicker it tells the maid about it, kicks sand outside of their den, and tells everyone to hide. They all go to bed at ten o'clock When they get cranky they have to sit in their room for 5 minutes. They have to go into their room because they aren't so strong and when they spank themselves  it doesn't hurt.

Maybe you should get a pet munchin-lumpa! !!

 

 

 

 

 

AN AMAZING FEAT

 

 

On the morning of August 31, 2013, Diana Nyad, at the age of 64, embarked on her fifth try to swim from Havana, Cuba to Florida, a distance of about 110 miles, accompanied by a support team of 35 persons.  She swam without a shark cage, but protected from jelly fish by a silicone mask, a full body suit, gloves and booties.  She faced a long enduring swim for about 53 hours.   At approximately 1:55 p.m. EDT on September 2, 2013, Diana emerged onto the beach at Key West, Florida amid cheering greeters.  She was in good spirits, tired but well.

 It is awesome when we realize what she accomplished.   There is no doubt her relentless and persistent effort to overcome such an overwhelming challenge is a sign of great character and courage.  What is even more interesting to appreciate is she is a person with whom many of us may identify as a senior citizen.  So, what does that mean?   If we allow ourselves to know her, she could be anyone of our neighbors.  

 Diana Nyad, (coincidentally, her last name is pronounced the same as naiad, which is a type of sea nymph), is a local person   My research about her life indicates that she was born in New York City on August 22, 1949 to a stockbroker William Sneed and his wife Lucy Curtis.  Her father died and her mother remarried Aristotle Nyad, a Greek land developer, who adopted Diana.  The family moved to Fort Lauderdale, Florida where Diana attended the private Pine Crest School,

 As she grew up, she began swimming seriously in grade seven and won three Florida state high school championships in the Backstroke.  She dreamed of swimming in the 1968 Summer Olympics, but in 1966 she was bed ridden for three months with endocarditis, an infection of the heart.  Unfortunately, when she began swimming again, she lost speed.  Finally, she graduated from Pine Crest and eventually from Lake Forest in Illinois with a degree in English and French.    Still highly motivated, she returned to south Florida and continued training for marathon swimming.   Diana was inducted into the United States National Women’s Sports Hall of Fame in 1986 and the International Swimming Hall of Fame in 2003.  

In addition to her prowess in swimming, she has authored three books about her life and distance swimming.  In her 1978 autobiography, she described marathon swimming as a battle for survival against a brutal foe - -The Sea!   Her fortitude and determination to succeed, even under challenges,  is a sign of greatness.   It is so unusual to me that I had composed the poem below as of July 11, 2013 before I even knew of Diana Nyad and it seems only appropriate to address it in her honor.

GREATNESS

Comes from forward moving

Growing and improving

Seeking ways to give humanity

Something useful for making the world

A better place to live and thrive

Offering others insights to succeed

More than to just survive

Rather to enrich life with a feeling

That one can discover new sources

For helping one earn the rewards

Well deserved from hard work

That high energy spent wisely

Is invigorating and motivating

Providing impetus to

Contributing new ideas to advance

Civilization toward a utopian goal

 

 

 

   

 

WHATEVER LOLA WANTS LOLA GETS

 

I was quite surprised when I entered the house.  She was absolutely beautiful and before I could catch my breath she ran toward me and began to kiss me. I really wasn’t embarrassed just in shock because I didn’t even know her.  Suddenly, I heard a voice. “Oh, say hello to Lola.  She’s very affectionate, loving and is attracted to you”.   I looked at her and started to stroke her back.  It felt so strong and she stood there looking at me with such gorgeous eyes that I immediately fell in love with her.

 When I first got to know Lola my granddaughter was nine years old and my grandson was six years old.  They both adored Lola and she was much larger than the children but it didn’t make any difference because Lola loved to roll on the floor with them and they would sit on her and even cuddle with her.  Lola, despite her large size of about 50 pounds and 25 inches high, only licked their cheeks and they hugged her.  It has always been a complete love affair with them. 

Now, Lola is ten years old which is equal to 70 in a dog’s life and her pace is much slower.    So our family decided she might feel a little lonely and got her a one year old boyfriend, Charlie, another Boxer.  Yes, they have fallen for each other and have become great pals.  Charlie brings Lola a special companionship that really inspires Lola.  As a matter of fact, they enjoy playing together. They each have a crate next to each other and when it’s bedtime or they are tired each will go into their crate without being told to do so.  When I visit them, I sense a wonderful bonding that exists between them and the children.

I always loved dogs and as a child I once had one.  But it was much smaller and I always thought a large dog would be overwhelming.  Meeting Lola and Charlie, I quickly came to realize I was mistaken.  Yes, Lola and Charlie were once owned by other families and were adopted from a rescue center.  I became so fascinated with them that I decided to research the origin of the Boxer.

 

John Wagner’s book, The Boxer,** contains one of the most detailed histories of this breed’s development.  He explains that this breed began in Munich, Germany during the last century.  Other authors have reported that as far back as the Assyrians, more than 2000 B.C., a strain of dogs with a powerful build were used in war.  Centuries later, the type of dog was named Molassian from a city in what is now Albania.   These dogs spread across the continent and became the ancestors of the German Bullenbeisser, a heavy dog like the Mastiff characteristically with a bulldog face.   These dogs because of their agility and strength traditionally were used in hunting.  Breeding this type of face provided the Boxer to have a better grasp of its prey.  They are strong and intelligent and very devoted as service dogs, as guides for the blind, for therapy, in police K9 units and occasionally for herding cattle or sheep.  Most of all, Boxers are friendly, lively companions that are very popular with families   Lola and Charlie could be my favorite pets anytime.  

**Wagner, John P. The Boxer, Orange Judd Publishing Co., Inc. New York (1947)     

               

  

SPRINGTIME

 

Each season of the year has its uniqueness but spring is the only one that brings a new beginning of fresh growth. Instead of leaves turning brown and falling from the trees we see new buds forming on the branches.   Birds come back from their winter flight.
   We awaken to feel the warmth of the sun and shed a few winter wraps we wore for the short cold snaps we had.  And yes, here in Florida all we have is nostalgic memories of those stormy cold and icy winters we once weathered when we lived up north. Remember the snow shoveling we used to do and the ice we scraped off the windshield?   And, what about the earmuffs we used to wear?  But, spring here is still a wonderful time to enjoy those refreshing morning walks and our daily exercises.  April here is warm enough to take a dip in the pool.  Even with the allergies spring brings us we find remedies to keep us comfortable.
   Spring really began with the vernal equinox at 7:02 A.M. (EDT) on March 20, 2013 in the northern hemisphere.  The word equinox is derived from the Latin word meaning equal nights.  Actually, days and nights are approximately equal everywhere with the sun rising in the east and setting in the west.   Our days are becoming longer and more comfortable as we head toward summer.
   The spring season is full of transformations and aside from the weather’s changes our lives are transforming, too.  Those of us who have allergies our immune systems will get a wakeup call.   Of course, there are  threatening situations where there is nothing absolute about the weather.  What with hurricanes lurking in the Atlantic and April showers a frequent visit, a rain jacket and an umbrella need to be available and even stored in your car.
What is so nice about spring is that it inspires us to planning for the future.  Vacations are not far away.  Perhaps, it’s an automobile tour out west or a transatlantic cruise.  Maybe it’s a July 4^th party or a welcome visit from distant relatives.   Sometimes at this time of the year our medical issues seem to subside or are held in abeyance.   Most important we are encouraged to increase our self awareness and recognize that our body is our temple we need to preserve.  At the same time that we take care of ourselves we need to protect our earth and environment which need constant surveillance and the utmost care too.
   Spring helps us realize the importance of learning how to embrace and adapt to change over time.  It is the season that contributes ideas of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal and festivity. It is a time when we can connect to one another and even build new friendships.  No one can be an island unto oneself and remain happy.  Yes, there is always a risk to reach out but the rewards far exceed the losses.

 

 

FREE TIME

Many of us have varying lifestyles.  But, there is one that is quite popular among seniors. Living a sedentary lifestyle is quite popular; and particularly, among those of us who are retired.  Oh yes, there are the tennis players and the golfers but what about all those retirees who don’t even resort to any real physical exercise like even taking a walk?  Even with the availability of our fitness center there are some people who are virtually “Couch Potatoes”.

I have heard that word for quite a few years and realize that I had almost adopted it as a label for myself until I researched its origin and meaning.  It refers to one who leads a sedentary life and particularly enjoys activities including sitting, reading, watching television, playing video games and using the computer for most of the day with little or no vigorous physical exercise.  Then, I searched further and found out that the term couch potato had actually had a birthday.   It came into being on July 15, 1976 when it was first uttered by Tom Iacino of Pasadena, California during a telephone conversation.  He was a member of a group in Southern California who amusingly opposed the fads of exercise and healthy diet in favor of vegetating in front of the TV and eating junk food giving themselves the name “boob tubers” substituting the name potato for tube, hence couch potato.  Subsequently, Couch Potato was registered as a trademark.  Robert Armstrong, also a “boob tuber” member drew a cartoon of a potato on a couch and formed a club called the Couch Potatoes.  He began merchandising paraphernalia such as T shirts and dolls. He even published a newsletter and a book, called Dr. Spudd’s Etiquette for the Couch Potato.  So today, the couch potato culture is in vogue. 

As humorous as the couch potato movement may appear, it also signals a serious note to all of us.   A sedentary life may be innocent of itself; but, it is important to understand that excessive sitting and watching TV is linked to negative health consequences.  Think for a moment that in years past, people hospitalized for surgery or other medical issues remained bedridden for weeks at a time.  The medical profession came to recognize that getting the patient up and walking as soon as possible insured quicker recovery and increased longevity.

Walking can be considered the cornerstone for survival and good health.  Most important is that you check with your doctor and if you know your general health condition is okay you can decide how much and how fast you can walk.  Strolling in Walmart, Publix or a mall is fine but walking as an exercise is a bit different from a stroll.Walking involves moving at a pace that feels comfortable for you. The National Institute of Health and Human Services recommends for adults 65 and older to do two and a half hours a week.  However, if that is too much, be as physically active as your abilities and condition allow. 
 

Your free time is more valuable for your health if you avoid being a couch potato. 

 

 

                              GROUNDHOG DAY 

                                                  
 When you read this article Groundhog Day will have already passed us by on February 2, 2013.  Somehow, it has perked my curiosity as to why we have such a day and what it means.   There is an early American reference to it in a diary entry, dated February 4, 1841 by a storekeeper, James Morris, of Berks County, Pennsylvania.  Historically, it has its origins in ancient European weather lore, where a badger or a sacred bear was the forecaster in lieu of a groundhog.   The day also bears similarities to a Pagan festival marking the seasonal turning point of the Celtic Calendar that was recognized on Feb. 1st.

According to folklore, if it is cloudy when a groundhog emerges from his burrow on February 2, then spring will come early; if it is sunny, the groundhog will supposedly see his shadow then go back into his burrow/and winter weather will continue for an additional  six weeks.  There are modern customs of the holiday involving early morning celebrations and festivals held to watch the groundhog appear from his burrow.

The celebration began as a Pennsylvania German custom in southeastern and central Pennsylvania in the 18^th and 19^th centuries.  The largest celebration is held in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, where crowds as large as 40,000 have gathered to celebrate the holiday since at least 1886.  Other parts of the state as well as Canada and Nova Scotia observe this holiday.  The one held in Punxsutawney received widespread notoriety as a result of the 1993 comedy film Groundhog Day, primarily filmed in Woodstock, IL starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell and Chris Elliott,

 Phil Connors (Murray), a self-centered meteorologist, Rita(MacDowell) a news producer, and Larry (Elliott) a cameraman, of Pittsburgh television station, travel to Punxsutawney on February 1.  They are to cover the annual Groundhog Day Festivities on February 2.  Phil resents the assignment but grudgingly does his report on the festivities.  On his team’s return trip to Pittsburgh they are caught in a blizzard and forced to stay overnight back in the town.  Phil awakens the next day and finds he is reliving February 2 caught in a time loop.   

Eventually, Phil becomes despondent and tries to end the time loop.   He gives ridiculous and offensive reports on the festival, abuses residents, kidnaps Punxsutawney Phil, and, after a police chase, drives off a cliff, apparently killing both him and the groundhog.  Miraculously, Phil wakes up and finds that nothing has changed.   Desperate, he explains the trap he is in to Rita and she suggests he try to improve himself and change his ways.  Finally, Phil is able to befriend almost everyone he meets, using his experiences to help as many people as he can during the day.  He writes a report on the Groundhog Day celebration so great that all the other TV stations turn their microphones to him.  He wakes up the next morning and finds the time loop is broken.  It is now February 3 and Rita is still with him.  After going outside, Phil talks about living in Punxsutawney.  The movie offers a charming message of how one’s life can become better.  In reality, on February 2, 2013 the groundhog didn’t see his shadow.  So, we can look forward to an early spring. 

  

DAWN

 

 

 Across the horizon

The light of day

Lets beautiful colors

Find their way

Into our windows

Waking us from sleep

Luring us to open both eyes

And arise to renew

Those things we like to do

Enjoy a good breakfast

Rather than sit and talk

Take a morning walk

Or work out for fitness

Give tennis a challenge

A golf round to manage

Never dismiss such pleasures

They are some of life’s treasures

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HANDLING EMOTIONS

Theories about emotions reach back at least to the time of the ancient Greek philosophers; and, still there is no simple explanation of an emotion.  However, it is considered a complex psycho physiological experience of an individual’s state of mind involving the interaction of one’s biochemical (internal) and environmental (external) influences.  Given this explanation, we can readily see what a challenge it is for us to maintain a healthy outlook in life.  After all, we do have happy or unhappy situations that provide us with strong feelings--emotions.

    In 1884, William James, a psychologist, presented the theory that a changed situation leads to a changed bodily state.   He said, “The perception of bodily changes, as they occur, IS the emotion.”  He further stated that “we feel sad because we cry, angry because we strike, and tremble because we fear.”  He even did experiments by manipulating the body state and a desired emotion was induced.
    The field of neuroscience (the study of the nervous system) has emerged in the 21^st century where psychology has made advances in helping to understand the mind body relationship entailing emotions.  Dr. Richard J. Davidson, professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, is a pioneer in brain research for more than thirty years.  In his recent book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, Penguin Books, 2012, he introduces Emotional Styles for helping us learn how to deal with our emotions.
    Richardson claims that each person has unique emotional styles, which consist of six distinct components: Resilience, Outlook, Self-Awareness, Social Intuition, Attention and Sensitivity to Context.  We utilize each of these components depending upon how we react to the experiences we have in our life.   Some people have the ability to recover rapidly from negative emotions while others may linger in a sad or depressed mood.   Some people may experience joyful feelings that are fleeting or hold on to them for longer periods.
    What makes his research interesting is that he has, through brain imaging, been able to show that there is an interrelation between the pre-frontal cortex ( mainly the center of higher order cognitive thinking and the amygdala ( part of the limbic system that plays an important role in negative emotions of distress, feeling anxious or threatened ).  He discovered that the more connections between these two sections of the brain the
better we are able to manage our emotions.   Fewer connections make it more difficult for one to recover rapidly, thus people linger longer in the negative emotion.  Formerly, neuroscientists considered emotions mainly associated with the amygdala.
    His eye blinking experiments with subjects revealed that people with greater activation on the left side of the prefrontal cortex recovered much more quickly from the strongest feelings of disgust, anger and fear elicited from stimulating images.
    Psychologists offer ways for regulating emotions.  For it is now known that the brain has neuroplasticity, the ability to change its structure and function.  A “mere” thought can change the brain’s function.

Some suggestions for controlling emotions

1.    Find out what triggers the emotion.

2.    Be mindful of your inner emotions at the moment.
3.    Describe what you are feeling in a non-judgmental way.
4.    Practice responding to emotions in new and constructive ways.

 We can learn to handle our emotions.

 

 

 

     

 

HAVE A NOSH?

 

    Eating, in addition to being a need for survival, is probably one of the most popular and enjoyable activities in our life.   It also seems that three meals a day is not enough to satisfy us.  So, we resort to a “nosh” now and then.  The word itself has an interesting origin:   from the Yiddish meaning to nibble on, eat sweets or from the Middle High German naschen to eat between meals.  Nevertheless, to nosh is really not a need.  After all, most of us have three meals a day.  But, you see, eating is so much fun that we take advantage of it to try and satisfy ourselves. 

     There is a saying:   “Some people eat to live and some live to eat”.  Most likely, those who eat to live probably don’t face the problem of overweight.  Oh, yes, there are all kinds of dieting programs such as Jenny Craig, The Atkins Diet, Nutrisystems or Weight Watchers.  There is much more to consider when life conditions are examined.
     Once we get past the concept that eating is a necessity for survival why are there so many people having problems with food?   These problems are so prevalent that they are referred to clinically as eating disorders.  They are usually identified as having abnormal eating habits that may involve inadequate or excessive food intake resulting in harm to an individual’s physical and mental health.
     There are classic cases of eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa (AN), characterized by individuals who do not maintain a healthy body weight with an obsessive fear of gaining weight.   Some of these people suffer from this condition unconsciously.  Unfortunately, the risk of losing one’s life is greatly increased with this disease.  Bulimia nervosa (BN) is characterized by recurrent eating followed by compensatory behaviors such as purging (self-induced vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics).   Sometimes fasting and over exercise may be used as a method of purging following a binge.   Binge Eating Disorder (BED) or ‘compulsive overeating’ is a type of eating disorder that is binge eating without any compensatory behavior.  It is more common than bulimia or anorexia.  This disorder can develop in a range of ages.
     We often associate eating disorders with younger people;   but, it is interesting to note that the elderly also experience these problems.   Seniors develop symptoms like younger persons in an attempt to feel in control.  Cultural idealization of thinness and youthfulness has contributed to eating disorders particularly among the young.  However, seniors frequently feeling the effects of their bodies failing, and loss of autonomy to loved ones turn to their diet as one of the things that they can control.   When they are depressed and lonely, they may find themselves denying food or even losing themselves in overeating.  
     Dieting is not always the solution to weight loss or gain.  Obviously, the social aspects of life can play a big part in how one eats.  It is true that one cannot always control the social life one has.  However, fundamentally, self discipline can be significant in how we address food.  As the philosopher once said, “Take everything in moderation”.

A nosh once in a while is okay but regularly eating between meals is not good. 

                                                   Think about  it!  

 

 

 

 

 

EYES

Focus on what’s clear

They see things far and near

Always giving an important view

              Searching for something that’s always new

       Seeking to broaden your visions

               To news that affords you better decisions

        Providing you choices to help you find satisfaction

     And avoiding annoying distractions

THE NURSE

         

 

She has the skill

Few people can fulfill

She administers aid

With a firm style
Bringing confidence
For those needing care
No one wants a needle in the arm
Yet directly and safely
Inserting with no harm
An intravenous injection
With such perfection
One is at ease
Feeling no pain
On the road to health again
With more years of life to gain