AGE

Birth starts the day

For one to grow

Making the way

To reach a stage

That shows a blossom

Almost ready to pick

But plucked too soon

May leave no room

For its stems to flourish

Time and patience

Love and affection

Become the sources

To nourish perfection

 

 

    FIRE

Strike a match

The flame is bright

Just one scratch

And you have a light

For use as you wish

A cigarette to inhale

It's bad to breathe

Or a fire for life

A tool for warmth

A well cooked meal

A path in the dark

A torch to roads

Leading to new goals

 

LOOKING BACK

    Seniors now retired often reminisce about their younger years and in looking back sometimes express regret that they had not accomplished some things, gone to college or even finished high school. Feelings of nostalgia engulf them and they long for their younger years when they were physically and mentally adroit to master all kinds of feats they now watch the younger generation enjoy. This nostalgia can blunt the wonderful human potential they still have now to empower themselves. It seems that the trials and tribulations they have experienced in life have weighed heavily upon them so much so that they have lost sight of who they are and what strength and energy they have. This situation is often labeled incorrectly depression.
    If they are in good physical condition, it's really more an attitude of "misery likes company ". That is to say, for them it's easier to lament over their emptiness than to take the bull by the horns and become active in new pursuits. People with such an outlook have often had disappointments or been discouraged when they were younger. The mental abilities they had when they were younger are still with them. It's just they are at this stage of life blindsided by trying to look back deluded in thinking their physical strength is the same as their mental ability. The fact of the matter is their body is not at the level it was at age twenty.
    Now that you have reached this place in reading this article you might think these preceding ideas don't apply to you. But for those who identify with what I have said try to realize that your life is still vibrant and full of opportunities for you to enjoy. Stop malingering in the past because that will stunt your growth. Your past experiences may have contributed to your feelings of anger as well as disappointment. You could be living with lingering anger, too. Feelings of envy, jealousy or even revenge can haunt you. You have the ability to rise above these negative views and change your attitude.
    If you think that you have had a raw deal along your life's road, remember you are not the only one who has lived with misery and even so  it does not mean you have to be trapped in miserable past thoughts. Nostalgia is sometimes your tool used to project blame on others for your own lack of accomplishment. You own those things you missed doing. You're melancholy is an escape from taking responsibility for your life. It's an attitude that becomes an excuse to sit and brood over what you don't have and can't do. It's called indolence and, if you really think about it, you have developed it as a skill to being idle, apathetic, indifferent, uninterested, listless or lethargic.
    I don't believe, as some might say that you have become lazy. This word brings me to a play on words because if one chooses to say that you are lazy, I believe it's not so.  Being lazy is what you are doing. You are not doing anything? You are doing something " nothing!" The interesting thing is you have become habituated to doing nothing so long that it's time to  stop being stagnant and start looking forward.      






 

LOVE CAN LAST

It all starts with you. Yes, understand that you can only love if you love yourself. The question then becomes how does one develop self love? I guess it all begins when you are a little baby. How were you touched? How were you fondled? How were you held? What sounds did you hear? Were they soft, loud, or gentle? Did you see faces that were smiling or frowning? These questions are answered by the vibrations they provided you. If they were warm and tender, then you felt comfortable and safe. You were at ease to reach out to the world and embrace it. Now, you may not remember those early sensations but they developed and if they continued to be positive as you grew older you really got to love yourself. You really loved your feelings so much so that you now become able to share those feelings with others. You have developed the ingredients of love that give you pleasure in life.

    If you have been blessed with children then they have grown to love by the model you have set for them. If you have a positive self concept, then they will know it by the way you relate to them. If you have been nasty, belligerent, or angry as they were growing up, don't be quick to blame them when they act that way to you. After all, the behavior you modeled may come home to haunt you. Remember, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." When they leave the nest and live on their own you would like to believe that they are free agents and should know how to behave and relate nicely with you and other people. However, like it or not, vestiges of your nurturing have become a part of them. So, in your senior years of life what's the answer?

If, as I said earlier, you have lived with a positive self concept, you will reap the rewards of a healthy loving relationship with your children. Even If you have a negative self concept you still have an opportunity to change your perceptions to a positive view of life because the infant vibrations you received were not transmitted genetically. You learned from them. But it won't necessarily be easy because think about the many years you have become what you are. It takes a lot of courage to really look into yourself and recognize who you have become. If you have the willingness to be introspective and have enough self confidence, you can change your perceptions. The change will be refreshing, not only to yourself, but to your children.

It's important to understand that if you are really committed and motivated to modify your self concept, recognize the change may not be rapid but it will occur. Even your loved ones may be surprised, at first, to see you in a different light. They might think you are showing something of yourself that makes them feel you are pretending. Don't let that discourage you. Remember, the good feelings of love you share will be catching, attractive and everlasting for yourself as well as others. Love does last if it is authentic.



                                                       

 

STRANGERS MEET

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Huggles

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Curly

   




   

Early in the morning the sun was just peeking over the horizon and it was time for my imagination to take flight.  I heard birds singing as a chorus.  Sometimes the woodpecker would keep the rhythm for the birds' melodies.  As the sun covered the landscape one could see the flower buds open into a gorgeous assortment of colors. 

    I looked out of my window and saw a beautiful white rabbit with ears perked up like antennas monitoring the sounds around.  Nearby, perched on his hind feet, was a furry brown squirrel nibbling on an acorn held in his front paws.  He too, with his head bobbing quickly from side to side was sensitive listening and watching carefully.  When a leaf rustled he was quick to notice if anything was about to move.  
    For reasons still unexplained these two little creatures appeared in my yard almost every morning.  I became fascinated by their presence and decided to earn their friendship.  Ever since I was a little boy I knew that rabbits like carrots and squirrels like nuts.  So I began gathering this food for them and every morning before they arrived I placed some nuts and carrots on the grass a few feet apart and waited by my window.  Sure enough they arrived. 
     At first, for a few days, they would come by scurrying about but not touch the food.  They had minds of their own and I was in no way going to influence them to my bidding.  But I realize I would not let my patience run out.  Enjoying their visits, I gave them a name.  The rabbit looked so soft and cuddly I called Huggles.  The squirrel with his bushy tail often moved it up and down whipping it rapidly from side to side even into a twirl.   So, his name became Curly.  It was so much fun just to see how they bobbed and hopped.  The second week something very interesting was happening.  Huggles and Curly began to partake of the nourishment.  But, Huggles only tasted the carrots and Curly the nuts.  That was okay with me.  After all, don't we humans have our preferences? 

    After a few more weeks I noticed that they seemed to take time to sit for a few moments and just look at each other.  It seems that their curiosities were aroused and before you could wink an eye, Curly jumped for a carrot and Huggles for a nut.  After munching the sample of each other's food they looked at each other again and their noses began to wiggle as if they were trying to say something to one another.  

    Every day for a week each would sample then their noses would wiggle.  I think they were talking to each other with their noses.  As the next weeks moved along they began to rub each other's noses and after sharing their food would cuddle.  One morning after a month passed by, I noticed a third little creature about the size of a mouse appeared sitting between them.  It had Curly's tail and Huggles' ears with light brown fur and a nose like theirs.  Wow!   They had sired an heir named Rascal.  So I believe animals like people, strangers at first, can meet and fall in love.

                                                       

THE LITTLE BALL

It lies on the ground

Without a sound

When the club swing is right

The ball takes flight

To a distance you delight

For it lands on a spot you can find

That gives you peace of mind

So again when you swing

You are closer to your goal

For reaching the hole

The fewer strokes you take

The closer the break

For getting the score

You want to make.

 

WHAT'S THE HURRY?

When you are driving within the speed limits, sometimes there is someone behind who just isn't satisfied to comply with the limits and begins to tailgate you. If you don't change lanes 'fast enough, fast enough' you might get a dirty look from the passing driver. Incidentally, that same car and driver happens to be parked next to you when you arrive at the next traffic light less than a minute or two later. You look across at that driver and ask yourself, "What's the hurry? He/she hasn't gone any further than I have. Does he/she feel it is a race to be won? What a waste of energy!" Obviously, there is something motivating such a driver to move so rapidly. But, even if it's a sense of urgency one driving like that is scary. It's beckoning for an accident.

Then you are at another stop light and it turns green but the car in front of you is hesitating to move on. The horn behind you beeps and as you look in your rear view mirror you see an angry face leer at you with a hand extended upward with the driver giving you that repulsive finger. Oh yes, such behavior is not limited to one's sex. What is it with some people?

Extend the emotions of these above situations a step further and we can arrive at incidents of Road Rage. Fortunately, most people have control of their driving and are able to manage their emotions. However, we never know what the personality of another driver is nor, for that matter, are we always able to monitor our own emotions. Everyone driving an automobile is motivated to reach a destination.

Psychology has identified Road Rage as an Intermittent Explosive Disorder, a condition in which there is a burst of aggression and violent behavior, noted in automobile driving. It is of particular interest to recognize that this kind of behavior is closely associated with problems of anger management that is not only connected to driving. A person who acts with uncontrolled anger while driving may have some difficulty in dealing with frustration. Sometimes a person may feel that being cut off by another driver in getting a parking space is unjust and objectively this behavior may be considered rude or impolite. But, what is really important to understand? It is that to allow your emotions to go out of control over such an incident is of no benefit to you. Maybe the frustration you experience motivates you to want to seek revenge or get even with the other driver. The question is why would you want to do that? Is it possible that you might be fraught with feelings of low self esteem? If, on the other hand, you feel annoyed momentarily by what the driver did then you will allow yourself to let your feeling dissipate and move to find another parking space because you were able to adjust your emotions and as often said, not take it "personally".

Driving an automobile is a very awesome responsibility and it's important to respect the privilege each of us has in using it. Driving defensively means not only to protect yourself but others as well. Don't let your motivation to get somewhere blind you from thinking logically. What's the hurry?






 

FREE TIME
To sit and mope
Can narrow your scope
To see and do
Gives pleasure
 Waiting for things to happen
Will bring an empty treasure
Move forward
There is much to enjoy
It takes energy to advance
Be creative and
Take a chance
Whatever the venture
It brings action
That is a feeling
Of satisfaction

 

The Meaning of Silence

Freeing yourself from any thoughts is a challenge many of us find difficult to meet. It seems that even with our eyes closed and seated in a perfectly silent environment your mind is continually active. Nevertheless, calmness can be approached, if not completely, but requires a certain commitment and self discipline. Keep in mind that even in our sleep our brain is continually working because we also dream. Regardless of age, situations arise where stress, physical or mental faces us and we resort to a variety of ways to find relief. Even when we are not stressed, there are times we would like to loosen up and sense tranquility. Sometimes we use mind altering substances to help us relax such as sedatives for reducing irritability or excitement. Alcohol and sleeping pills can at times provide a calming effect which overdosed can lead to unconsciousness. But, the healthiest way to reach a state of serenity is to be fully conscious and concentrate on what you would like to feel.

Meditation refers to a type of practice in which you can self induce a type of consciousness in order to realize some benefit. Scientific research has yet to find conclusive evidence of its effectiveness. However, recent randomized studies published in the Psychological Science Journal reported that meditation leads to better ability to maintain sustained attention. There are specific styles of meditative practices of which some are spiritual such as Zen Yoga, Kabala, Taoism, Buddhism and Hinduism or Transcendental Meditation (TM). Mantras used in TM are energy based sounds that can quiet the mind and create thought. There are also secular or lay models such as Biofeedback, Muscle Relaxation or Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Programs. You may have feelings of depression, anger, anxiety or fear that are so intense it might be necessary to employ some of the above techniques or even seek professional counseling. However, most of the time we are very much in control of our emotions and we can manage our life. It is your willingness to apply a calm, determined effort to raise our consciousness that allows for easier living. We have a natural ability to use our mind to relax by exercising self discipline.

Apply these suggestions: Find a quiet place where you are alone. Sit in a nice comfortable chair. Have the lights low. Close your eyes. .Listen to yourself. Concentrate on being very still. Imagine looking at yourself from head to toe. Feel every part of your body loosen up. Let your mind think of a happy desire. Focus on that thought and believe it can occur. This meditative approach does not need a mantra (a word or sound repeated to aid in concentration to meditate). These suggestions can be used any time of the day whenever you feel the desire to do so. However, the most appropriate times can be for ten or fifteen minutes when arising in the morning or when retiring at night. 

Apply these above suggestions, they will work for you. Why? You are totally in charge of how you feel and how you behave. The world you are in is yours alone and only you can become calm. Sometimes we need support but we are responsible to make the decision to be tense or relaxed, sad or happy. Handle meaningful silence. 6/1/11

 



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SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES

It takes time to learn how to live better because I can remember when I was younger I smoked but I was never a heavy smoker and managed to stop easily. I know for heavy smokers it is a real challenge to give up the habit. I recall a time when I was living up north in the winter time and driving in my car with the windows closed and the heater turned on. I lit a cigarette and felt very comfortable being nice and warm. As I reminisce about that experience, I realize how foolish I was. Today, I can't even stand secondary smoke.
We decided to get together with an old college friend we hadn't seen in over twenty years who happened to be in Florida on the west coast. Our friend suggested that it would be convenient to meet at a hotel mutually convenient for her family and us. We arrived much earlier than our friends so we had an opportunity to look around and  it was quite a place to see. I have been in gambling casinos on cruise ships but this gambling arena far outsized those of any cruise ship.

Have you ever been in a building and smelled the vestige of smoke from a fire that had taken place in it? Immediately, my eyes started to feel a slight irritation and there was a feeling of closeness in the air. I began to see hundreds of slot machines and heard the echoes of bells ringing as the machines posted winners and losers. There were many people sitting on stools using one hand for smoking a cigarette and the other for pressing the button to reap their harvest of wealth. We walked into the lobby and found many families registering for their hotel room to stay and enjoy their visit at this hotel and casino. It was our first and only visit to meet our college friend.  
As we strolled through the lobby, the air of secondary smoke followed us with no end in sight. Yet, the visitors, young and old appeared to be immune from it. We finally walked outside and stood where the car hops were stationed and mentioned to one of them that we found breathing difficult inside the hotel. His comment was, "Yes, I know. For a while I worked inside and I couldn't take it either and feel better breathing out here parking cars."

After meeting our friends we had lunch together at one of the restaurants adjacent to the hotel where the air was free of secondary smoke. I was challenged by the discomfort I experienced and found out that there are non-smoking areas and other hotel casinos that are smoke free. However, it never ceases to amaze me why people subject themselves to such a smoky environment. Among those who smoke there are those who don't but I guess the attraction of gambling to seek a fortune is more important than being smoke free.

I get the feeling that smoking is condoned in casinos maybe because there wouldn't be as many non smokers venturing to gamble. I wonder if there is any connection between gambling and smoking. What do you think? I say, go where smoke doesn't get in your eyes. May 19, 2011








 

Welcome to My Musings

I have published two books I invite you to read.  My first one is called Musings: A Variety of Readings. It provides inspirational essays for people young and old.  Many of its articles address human feelings and how we deal with our attitudes toward life. They encourage us to feel empathy and enjoy each day.  My second book is called  Poetry  to Ponder which challenges you to seek the message in each poem. Each poetic expression is colorful and excites your imagination. Each has playful words that beckon to your attention and urges you to think and feel the emotions we often have.  Seek my books on the internet.  I know you will like them.